Somewhere That's Green RHPS
by Charlotte Thompson
Summary: Mainly comprised of a cover of Somewhere That's Green, Frank singing about how he secretly yearns to settle down with Brad.


Somewhere in between Brad being seduced and Frank doing something about his technical husband running away, he was alone. Brad needed to take a shower to reflect on his life decisions, so Frank sat on his bed doing the same thing. He typically thought as well as talked in song. This time the song in his head just came out in a perfect parody. He stood against the door

"I know Brad is the greatest

But I am a semi-sadist

So Eddie is toast and is going to be a roast

Still that Brad is a cutie

Well if not he's still smarter than Rocky

And I dream of a place where Brad and I could be together at last

A matchbox of our own

A fence of real chain link

A grill out on the patio

Disposal in the sink

A washer and a dryer and an ironing machine

In he tract house that we share

Somewhere that's Green"

He moved away from the door, sat on the bed and dreamed. He smiled as he imagined his small suburban house with two tone grass.

"He rakes and trims the grass

He loves to mow and weed

I look like Marilyn Monroe

And he loves me

He never cares if they see us

Our love is so serene

In the Pine-Sol scented air somewhere that's green

Between our frozen dinner and

Our bedtime nine fifteen

We snuggle watching old movies

On a big enormous projected screen

I'm his December bride

He's father, he knows best

Our girls play with their Barbies

As the sun sets in the west

A picture out of better homes and gardens magazine

Far from this world

But another girl

Somewhere that's green"

He took a breath. Brad came back in and sat beside Frank. "I didn't ever really love Janet."

"Did you JUST figure this out?" Frank asked.

"Not particularly. Just... I am definitely gay." Brad answered. "I wonder what she is up to."

"If she lays a hand on Rocky she is dead." Frank explained

"I have to pretend I still love her so I would defend her." Brad answered

"If someone was trying to hurt Rocky I would do the same thing." Frank understood

"So are you and Rocky like... Married?" Brad asked.

"Eh. It is an open marriage. On my side."

"That is hypocritical."

"He is mine."

"He doesn't seem interested in that."

"Brad Majors are you trying to imply something?" Frank asked.

"I can't believe after so many years of hiding my love of countless crushes I am falling in lo..." Brad started. Frank put his finger on Brad's lips

"Brad, I am not a commitment person." Frank warned

"Says the person who is technically married." Brad pointed out

"Because I made sure he had everything perfect and yet..." Frank's voice trailed off.

"You like me back don't you?" Brad asked

"I really don't care about muscles anymore." Frank admitted.

Brad smiled "I really changed your life."

"The worst part is that now I want what I can never have."

"What?"

"To be a fifties housewife." Frank whispered.

Brad opened his arms. Frank fell into them. Brad smiled.

"So should we act like none of this happened?"

"Yes, warning I will turn you into a Greek statue if you fight for her." Frank warned

"Will you turn me back?" Brad inquired.

"Oh yeah and we can do a whole floorshow. In a perfect world I will beat up her statue and hopefully the transducer won't have to seduce anyone else. Because then I will have to do a whole group number and Magenta and Riffraff wouldn't want to join and I will never live it down if it is bad." Frank answered.

"You? A bad show?" Brad questioned. Frank smiled.

"This is the reason I picked you."

"Did you actually do something with Janet?"

"Eh, she decided she was a slut after we..."

"Our fake marriage would have worked anyways!" Brad exclaimed. "I would have cheated on her with guys and she would have cheated on me with straight guys, lots of straight guys but would look respectable because she is married."

"Brad, sweetheart, it is better this way." Frank prodded.

"I know." Brad answered. He kissed Frank.

"Master, Rocky is lost. You married this one! You have to go and look for him!" Riffraff answered. Frank sighed.

"Coming!" He called. "Wanna come with me?" He asked Brad.

"Sure." Brad answered. Frank put on the jacket that Brad didn't even see until that minute.

"Lets go." Frank said.

Brad smiled.


End file.
